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eTrueSports

"Dedicated to taking scraps of truth and turning them into absurdist onsense."

eTrueSports.com is a daily Web publication offering objective (some might say satiric), reality-based (some might say spoofish) reporting and commentary on sports and the entertaining players, owners, fans, acolytes and buffoons who inhabit that world. Featuring incisive, strong-minded and witty writing from a team of award-winning journalists (some might say malcontents), powerful videos and surround-sound where available, eTrueSports promises no sincerity ever ... and delivers.

We Are:

Frank Coffey

Frank Coffey is the author of the critically praised humor books The Complete Idoit's Guide for Dumies (sic), The All Time Baseball Teams Book, and The Wit and Wisdom of George Steinbrenner, as well as grownup books like 60 Minutes: 25 Years of Television's Finest Hour. He is the author of four novels, has written for television and movies, and been a book, newspaper and magazine editor.

editor@eTrueSports.com

Ray Dougela

Raybird Design's clients have included ESPN, HBO, Rolling Stone, The New Yorker, ABC, Disney, Warner, Turner Entertainment, Bodacious Records and ... Jose Cuervo. Visit The Raybird Museum of Parodic Art at eTrueSports' Gallery.

http://www.raybird.net

Darryl Crum

Head-Digerati at Sharkbyte Systems Engineering, Darryl Crum is our software engineer, webmaster and resident geek genius. He has developed content management systems for some of the largest, and some of the smallest, web sites in America. A Silicon Valley expatriate and current resident of Los Angeles' South Bay, Darryl is a friend and fortunately for eTrueSports we don’t have to pay him all that much; the same may not be true for you.

webmaster@eTrueSports.com.

Matt Murray

Matt Murray is a graphic designer with a strong background in fine art, including painting, photography and printmaking. A former Marine, Matt was president of H2M, a Los Angeles-based graphic arts firm, before relocating to Seattle where he continues his two-path track of fine art and design.

choppas@hotmail.com

John Nelson

Senior Correspondent/Editor John Nelson is a free-lance writer and swami living in Buffalo, NY with his optimistic wife, PollySue. He reported from Johannesburg, South Africa on MLB umpire Jim Joyce refereeing at the World Cup and provided a controverisal defense of a "misunderstood" Barry Bonds in a series of editorials. (Full disclosure: Nelson is collaborating with Bonds on The Power of Me, a self-importance how-to guide.)

eTrueSports.com is represented by Ellen Goldsmith-Vein and Peter McHugh of The Gotham Group

<< Back

Lost Elvis Golf Music Video Found!

Michael Phelps for The Clean Bong Water Foundation

“Karma sure is a bitch," a spokeswoman for the American Buddhist Society told eTrueSports about Tiger Woods' 13-over par score at the U.S. Open, his worst-ever performance in a major.

In what could be a poignant end to a once promising second career for Sarah Palin, eTrueSports has learned that the Alaska Ass Clowns of the fledgling Caucasian Basketball Association have ended negotiations with the former politician to become the team's new mascot "Butthole". "Our focus group said she'd scare children," explained an Ass Clowns' spokesman.

Los Angeles Lakers' center Dwight Howard has been rushed to Children's Hospital where he was diagnosed with Early-Onset Megalomania. "This is a real wake-up call," Howard told eTrueSports. "I need to concentrate 100% on myself to get better."

Go figure: The Mets Ike Davis (.161) was sent down to the minors despite three doubles and two intentional walks.

Sources close to Kobe Bryant have told eTrueSports the athlete/comedian will star in a remake of the 1997 TV movie "Mother Knows Best." Ironically, negotations with his own mother to play herself "have not gone well."

Liberty University has added ESPN basketball analyst Chris Broussard as a commencement speaker, eTrueSports has learned. "The world needs more black bigots," said a spokesman for the evangelical Christian school of higher learning.

SOMETHING TO CELEBRATE DEPT: eTrueSports' Video Investigative Unit has confirmed that Grizzlies' forward Zach Randolph touched the rim at 3:42 of the 3rd quarter during his team's 93-86 elimination loss to the Spurs on May 27th.

The case against the crowd outside Pauley Pavilion who demanded the return of fired basketball coach Ben Howland has been dropped by the LAPD. "Both of them are good kids," spokesman told eTrueSports. "They just made a dumb mistake."

The National Transportation Safety Board investigation into ex-UCLA basketball coach Ben Howland's offense as source of drowsiness blamed for a rash of campus pedestrian collisions has been suspended. "The Westwood nightmare is over," said an NTSB spokesman.

Heard any good rumors?
Email the publisher!

	Tuesday, June 18th, 2013
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eTrueSports "Dedicated to taking scraps of truth and turning them into absurdist onsense." eTrueSports.com is a daily Web publication offering objective (some might say satiric), reality-based (some might say spoofish) reporting and commentary on sports and the entertaining players, owners, fans, acolytes and buffoons who inhabit that world. Featuring incisive, strong-minded and witty writing from a team of award-winning journalists (some might say malcontents), powerful videos and surround-sound where available, eTrueSports promises no sincerity ever ... and delivers. We Are: Frank Coffey Frank Coffey is the author of the critically praised humor books The Complete Idoit's Guide for Dumies (sic), The All Time Baseball Teams Book, and The Wit and Wisdom of George Steinbrenner, as well as grownup books like 60 Minutes: 25 Years of Television's Finest Hour. He is the author of four novels, has written for television and movies, and been a book, newspaper and magazine editor. editor@eTrueSports.com Ray Dougela Raybird Design's clients have included ESPN, HBO, Rolling Stone, The New Yorker, ABC, Disney, Warner, Turner Entertainment, Bodacious Records and ... Jose Cuervo. Visit The Raybird Museum of Parodic Art at eTrueSports' Gallery. http://www.raybird.net Darryl Crum Head-Digerati at Sharkbyte Systems Engineering, Darryl Crum is our software engineer, webmaster and resident geek genius. He has developed content management systems for some of the largest, and some of the smallest, web sites in America. A Silicon Valley expatriate and current resident of Los Angeles' South Bay, Darryl is a friend and fortunately for eTrueSports we don’t have to pay him all that much; the same may not be true for you. webmaster@eTrueSports.com. Matt Murray Matt Murray is a graphic designer with a strong background in fine art, including painting, photography and printmaking. A former Marine, Matt was president of H2M, a Los Angeles-based graphic arts firm, before relocating to Seattle where he continues his two-path track of fine art and design. choppas@hotmail.com John Nelson Senior Correspondent/Editor John Nelson is a free-lance writer and swami living in Buffalo, NY with his optimistic wife, PollySue. He reported from Johannesburg, South Africa on MLB umpire Jim Joyce refereeing at the World Cup and provided a controverisal defense of a "misunderstood" Barry Bonds in a series of editorials. (Full disclosure: Nelson is collaborating with Bonds on The Power of Me, a self-importance how-to guide.) eTrueSports.com is represented by Ellen Goldsmith-Vein and Peter McHugh of The Gotham Group << Back Lost Elvis Golf Music Video Found! Michael Phelps for The Clean Bong Water Foundation “Karma sure is a bitch," a spokeswoman for the American Buddhist Society told eTrueSports about Tiger Woods' 13-over par score at the U.S. Open, his worst-ever performance in a major. In what could be a poignant end to a once promising second career for Sarah Palin, eTrueSports has learned that the Alaska Ass Clowns of the fledgling Caucasian Basketball Association have ended negotiations with the former politician to become the team's new mascot "Butthole". "Our focus group said she'd scare children," explained an Ass Clowns' spokesman. Los Angeles Lakers' center Dwight Howard has been rushed to Children's Hospital where he was diagnosed with Early-Onset Megalomania. "This is a real wake-up call," Howard told eTrueSports. "I need to concentrate 100% on myself to get better." Go figure: The Mets Ike Davis (.161) was sent down to the minors despite three doubles and two intentional walks. Sources close to Kobe Bryant have told eTrueSports the athlete/comedian will star in a remake of the 1997 TV movie "Mother Knows Best." Ironically, negotations with his own mother to play herself "have not gone well." Liberty University has added ESPN basketball analyst Chris Broussard as a commencement speaker, eTrueSports has learned. "The world needs more black bigots," said a spokesman for the evangelical Christian school of higher learning. SOMETHING TO CELEBRATE DEPT: eTrueSports' Video Investigative Unit has confirmed that Grizzlies' forward Zach Randolph touched the rim at 3:42 of the 3rd quarter during his team's 93-86 elimination loss to the Spurs on May 27th. The case against the crowd outside Pauley Pavilion who demanded the return of fired basketball coach Ben Howland has been dropped by the LAPD. "Both of them are good kids," spokesman told eTrueSports. "They just made a dumb mistake." The National Transportation Safety Board investigation into ex-UCLA basketball coach Ben Howland's offense as source of drowsiness blamed for a rash of campus pedestrian collisions has been suspended. "The Westwood nightmare is over," said an NTSB spokesman. Heard any good rumors? Email the publisher! Most Popular Stories A-Rod Says "Sorry" With Full-Body, Pinstripe Tattoo Mets Owner to Marry - Knicks Owner! Travis Henry Rushes To Spitzer's Side Mariah Carey Turns Down Offer From Kansas City Royals Carmelo: Google's SportsApologies Widget Works Great! Read All the News!		Rare photo of golfer Bubba Watson thinking Latest drug scandal PR dream for A-Rod's new cereal Sarah Palin calls new FIFA logo "foreign and dirty" Gillette accused of anti--whipped cream whisper campaign Chicago Mayor Emanuel calls new Cubs' logo "realistic"
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