eTrueSports Logo Tuesday, June 18th, 2013
 
<< Back

Mets Owner to Marry - Knicks Owner!

Jun 17, 2008

Mets owner Jeff Wilpon to marry Knicks owner James Dolan

Jeff Wilpon and James Dolan to Tie the Knot
 
Sons of Rich Fathers Have "So Much" in Common 
 
New YorkBREAKING STORY - Immediately after firing Willie Randolph in the middle of the night, busy New York Mets' COO Jeff Wilpon announced that he and New York Knickerbocker Chairman James Dolan were engaged to be married.
 
“We have so much in common,” said Wilpon, “it’s like he can finish my sentences.”
 
“We deserve one another,” added a beaming Dolan.
 
Hank Steinbrenner, New York Yankees co-owner, will be the couple’s best man.
 
Both the sons of rich fathers, Wilpon and Dolan have risen from virtual non-entities to the pinnacle of American sports, leading iconic franchises to new levels of respect and accomplishment. Both have also occasionally been criticized for over-bearing management styles and a baroque sense of entitlement.
 
“They each have taken a lot of hits for being over-their-heads in whatever they tackle,” said a top public relations executive who knows both men, “but they truly don’t care what others think and feel, which I think is just great.”
   
The marriage will be held in Atlantic City at Trump Taj Mahal, a hotel and casino owned by Donald Trump who, ironically, is also the progeny of a rich father.  
 
A spokesman for Wilpon said the couple will live in residences owned by their respective fathers (Fred Wilpon is a NY real estate mogul; Charles Dolan, owns Cablevision) in New York and Disneyland.

<< Back

Reader Responses
Jun 23, 2008 8:01 PM
FireChief
James Dolan is an icon! He played backup yukelalee for his brother Mickey with The Monkees. And you're laying smack on him? Don't do it, ain't righteous.
Bill Lumbergh Lives
Jun 18, 2008 2:37 AM
FireChief
These guys make Hank Steinbrenner look sharp and never in my wildest dreams did I ever think anyone could do that.
Bill Lumbergh Lives
Jun 17, 2008 10:42 PM
FireChief
Wasn't it Robbie Robertson in Somewhere Down The Lazy River who had the line "Hang the rich"?   You did, a beautiful thing.
Bill Lumbergh Lives
  • “Karma sure is a bitch," a spokeswoman for the American Buddhist Society told eTrueSports about Tiger Woods' 13-over par score at the U.S. Open, his worst-ever performance in a major.
  • In what could be a poignant end to a once promising second career for Sarah Palin, eTrueSports has learned that the Alaska Ass Clowns of the fledgling Caucasian Basketball Association have ended negotiations with the former politician to become the team's new mascot "Butthole". "Our focus group said she'd scare children," explained an Ass Clowns' spokesman.
  • Los Angeles Lakers' center Dwight Howard has been rushed to Children's Hospital where he was diagnosed with Early-Onset Megalomania. "This is a real wake-up call," Howard told eTrueSports. "I need to concentrate 100% on myself to get better."
  • Go figure: The Mets Ike Davis (.161) was sent down to the minors despite three doubles and two intentional walks.
  • Sources close to Kobe Bryant have told eTrueSports the athlete/comedian will star in a remake of the 1997 TV movie "Mother Knows Best." Ironically, negotations with his own mother to play herself "have not gone well."
  • Liberty University has added ESPN basketball analyst Chris Broussard as a commencement speaker, eTrueSports has learned. "The world needs more black bigots," said a spokesman for the evangelical Christian school of higher learning.
  • SOMETHING TO CELEBRATE DEPT: eTrueSports' Video Investigative Unit has confirmed that Grizzlies' forward Zach Randolph touched the rim at 3:42 of the 3rd quarter during his team's 93-86 elimination loss to the Spurs on May 27th.
  • The case against the crowd outside Pauley Pavilion who demanded the return of fired basketball coach Ben Howland has been dropped by the LAPD. "Both of them are good kids," spokesman told eTrueSports. "They just made a dumb mistake."
  • The National Transportation Safety Board investigation into ex-UCLA basketball coach Ben Howland's offense as source of drowsiness blamed for a rash of campus pedestrian collisions has been suspended. "The Westwood nightmare is over," said an NTSB spokesman.
  • Heard any good rumors?
    Email the publisher!

    My site was nominated for Best Humor Blog!