“I’ve Been Blessed And I Want To Share”

 

Los Angeles – Hoping to capitalize on the massive publicity following his dramatic return from a 50-game drug suspension, the Dodgers' Manny Ramirez announced he is opening a chain of hair salons called Chez Manny.

 

“I’ve been blessed with good hair,” said Ramirez, “but I’ve also learned how to take care of it. With Chez Manny I want to share my dreadlock secrets with the world so everyone will look as sexy as me.”

 

"Being Manny" has never been easier.

 

Chez Manny’s flagship salon will be located in LA’s iconic Venice Beach and, not surprisingly, will feature chemical treatment combined with teasing, twisting and banding the hair with pipe cleaners, a process known as ‘dread perming.’

 

“You can also use the pipe cleaners to clean your bong,” explained Ramirez.

 

An initial dread perming at Chez Manny will cost $500 and will include a brief personal visit with the owner. “I love to talk to my fans, especially if they’re paying,” said Ramirez.