eTrueSports Logo Friday, March 6th, 2015
 
<< Back

Chez Manny: Ramirez Opens Hair Salon Chain

Jul 24, 2009

















“I’ve Been Blessed And I Want To Share”
 
Los Angeles – Hoping to capitalize on the massive publicity following his dramatic return from a 50-game drug suspension, the Dodgers' Manny Ramirez announced he is opening a chain of hair salons called Chez Manny.
 
“I’ve been blessed with good hair,” said Ramirez, “but I’ve also learned how to take care of it. With Chez Manny I want to share my dreadlock secrets with the world so everyone will look as sexy as me.”
 
"Being Manny" has never been easier.
 
Chez Manny’s flagship salon will be located in LA’s iconic Venice Beach and, not surprisingly, will feature chemical treatment combined with teasing, twisting and banding the hair with pipe cleaners, a process known as ‘dread perming.’
 
“You can also use the pipe cleaners to clean your bong,” explained Ramirez.
 
An initial dread perming at Chez Manny will cost $500 and will include a brief personal visit with the owner. “I love to talk to my fans, especially if they’re paying,” said Ramirez.

<< Back

Reader Responses
Jul 25, 2009 9:07 AM
Yo
Hair salons?  It seems that the 'women's' drugs taken by Manny have gone to his head!
  • BREAKING: Mets' Daniel Murphy announces engagement to golfer Bubba Watson.
  • Mets' 2nd basemen Daniel Murphy's autobiography, "Ignorant Bigot: A Life Unexamined" being shopped to NY publishers eTrueSports has learned. "It's a quick read," said one editor who reviewed book proposal.
  • Breaking: According to sources Lance Armstrong is set to star in Fox's new summer sitcom, "A Return To Gullible Island," and will sing the show's theme song, "A Three Hour Tour de France."
  • After learning at least two NFL officials stole in-play game balls intended for charity, top PR crisis firm DBBO WideWorld has resigned the NFL account. "It's hopeless," said a DBBO spokesman.
  • Developing Story: Nation shocked that Ultimate Fighting is a drug-drenched brutal spectacle.
  • Ultimate Fighting in negotiations with PBS for children's show. "We think kids will love watching other kids kick one another in the face," said UFC president Dana White, "plus they'll learn about tattoos."
  • The American Delusional Narcissist Society is set to induct Alex Rodriguez and Donald Trump into its Hall of Fame, eTruesports has learned.
  • According to sources in Finland, Jameis Winston failed to qualify for the upcoming World Mobile Phone Throwing Championships in Savonlinna, FI.
  • Sarah Palin has called on the Westminster Kennel Club to ban Afghan Hounds from their 139th Annual Dog Show. "They're foreign," explained Palin.
  • Heard any good rumors?
    Email the publisher!