Chez Manny: Ramirez Opens Hair Salon Chain * "I've Been Blessed"

Chez Manny: Ramirez Opens Hair Salon Chain

Jul 24, 2009

“I’ve Been Blessed And I Want To Share”

Los Angeles – Hoping to capitalize on the massive publicity following his dramatic return from a 50-game drug suspension, the Dodgers' Manny Ramirez announced he is opening a chain of hair salons called Chez Manny.

“I’ve been blessed with good hair,” said Ramirez, “but I’ve also learned how to take care of it. With Chez Manny I want to share my dreadlock secrets with the world so everyone will look as sexy as me.”

"Being Manny" has never been easier.

Chez Manny’s flagship salon will be located in LA’s iconic Venice Beach and, not surprisingly, will feature chemical treatment combined with teasing, twisting and banding the hair with pipe cleaners, a process known as ‘dread perming.’

“You can also use the pipe cleaners to clean your bong,” explained Ramirez.

An initial dread perming at Chez Manny will cost $500 and will include a brief personal visit with the owner. “I love to talk to my fans, especially if they’re paying,” said Ramirez.

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Reader Responses

Jul 25, 2009 9:07 AM

Hair salons? It seems that the 'women's' drugs taken by Manny have gone to his head!

Lost Elvis Golf Music Video Found!

Michael Phelps for The Clean Bong Water Foundation

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<< Back Chez Manny: Ramirez Opens Hair Salon Chain Jul 24, 2009 “I’ve Been Blessed And I Want To Share” Los Angeles – Hoping to capitalize on the massive publicity following his dramatic return from a 50-game drug suspension, the Dodgers' Manny Ramirez announced he is opening a chain of hair salons called Chez Manny. “I’ve been blessed with good hair,” said Ramirez, “but I’ve also learned how to take care of it. With Chez Manny I want to share my dreadlock secrets with the world so everyone will look as sexy as me.” "Being Manny" has never been easier. Chez Manny’s flagship salon will be located in LA’s iconic Venice Beach and, not surprisingly, will feature chemical treatment combined with teasing, twisting and banding the hair with pipe cleaners, a process known as ‘dread perming.’ “You can also use the pipe cleaners to clean your bong,” explained Ramirez. An initial dread perming at Chez Manny will cost $500 and will include a brief personal visit with the owner. “I love to talk to my fans, especially if they’re paying,” said Ramirez. << Back Respond to this article \| Email this article to a friend \| Reader Responses Jul 25, 2009 9:07 AM Yo Hair salons? It seems that the 'women's' drugs taken by Manny have gone to his head! Lost Elvis Golf Music Video Found! Michael Phelps for The Clean Bong Water Foundation "Karma sure is a bitch," a spokeswoman for the American Buddhist Society told eTrueSports about Tiger Woods' 13-over par score at the U.S. Open, his worst-ever performance in a major. In what could be a poignant end to a once promising second career for Sarah Palin, eTrueSports has learned that the Alaska Ass Clowns of the fledgling Caucasian Basketball Association have ended negotiations with the former politician to become the team's new mascot "Butthole". "Our focus group said she'd scare children," explained an Ass Clowns' spokesman. Los Angeles Lakers' center Dwight Howard has been rushed to Children's Hospital where he was diagnosed with Early-Onset Megalomania. "This is a real wake-up call," Howard told eTrueSports. "I need to concentrate 100% on myself to get better." Go figure: The Mets Ike Davis (.161) was sent down to the minors despite three doubles and two intentional walks. Sources close to Kobe Bryant have told eTrueSports the athlete/comedian will star in a remake of the 1997 TV movie "Mother Knows Best." Sources close to Bryant say his lawsuit against his real mother may have been a "PR ploy gone wrong." Liberty University has added ESPN basketball analyst Chris Broussard as a commencement speaker, eTrueSports has learned. "The world needs more black bigots," said a spokesman for the evangelical Christian school of higher learning. SOMETHING TO CELEBRATE DEPT: eTrueSports' Video Investigative Unit has confirmed that Grizzlies' forward Zach Randolph touched the rim at 3:42 of the 3rd quarter during his team's 93-86 elimination loss to the Spurs on May 27th. The case against the crowd outside Pauley Pavilion who demanded the return of fired basketball coach Ben Howland has been dropped by the LAPD. "Both of them are good kids," spokesman told eTrueSports. "They just made a dumb mistake." The National Transportation Safety Board investigation into ex-UCLA basketball coach Ben Howland's offense as source of drowsiness blamed for a rash of campus pedestrian collisions has been suspended. "The Westwood nightmare is over," said an NTSB spokesman. Heard any good rumors? Email the publisher! Most Popular Stories A-Rod Says "Sorry" With Full-Body, Pinstripe Tattoo Mets Owner to Marry - Knicks Owner! Travis Henry Rushes To Spitzer's Side Mariah Carey Turns Down Offer From Kansas City Royals Carmelo: Google's SportsApologies Widget Works Great! Read All the News!		Rare photo of golfer Bubba Watson thinking Latest drug scandal PR dream for A-Rod's new cereal Sarah Palin calls new FIFA logo "foreign and dirty" Gillette accused of anti--whipped cream whisper campaign Chicago Mayor Emanuel calls new Cubs' logo "realistic"
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