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Glenn Beck: NBA Going Commie

May 11, 2010

New York
- Minutes after Russian billionaire Mikhail Prokhorov officially became the owner of the flailing New Jersey Nets, radio and TV personality Glenn Beck tearfully called on the NBA to immediately void the sale.
“We must protect America against Russkies and other Commies who are everywhere and want to steal our American sports,” said Beck.
"What's to protect?" asked a befuddled Prokhorov in an exclusive interview with eTrueSports. "I'm buying the suckiest franchise in the league." The Nets were an NBA-worst 12-70 this past season.  
NBA Commissioner David Stern denied Beck's charges that he is moving the 60-year-old league  toward Communism. “The NBA will not go red on my watch,” said Stern. “Yes, Mikhail  Prokhorov is a Russian but he’s no communist or even socialist. Heck, he even paid for dinner last night, including dessert which I love.”
In a related story, Beck denied a report that his television variety show was planning on dropping selected Communists into boiling water during the Nielson organization's ongoing May sweeps which measure TV viewership.
“They're already pink," Beck joked.

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