eTrueSports Logo Saturday, October 10th, 2015
<< Back

American Pie Association Wants MLB To Ban Shaving Cream

Jul 28, 2010

Real Whipped Cream "A Time-Honored Baseball Tradition"


New York – "Whipped cream pies-in-the-face are as American as the 7th inning stretch," said a spokesman for the American Pie Association in calling today for Major League Baseball to ban the use of shaving cream in post-game celebrations. Historians praised the APA for supporting a return to time-honored tradition.


"Cream face pie celebrations date back to 1883," said Pie Aficionado magazine's editor Marie Callender, "when Al Lamode took one in the puss after a game between the Cincinnati Red Stockings and the Detroit Wolverines."


Health concerns may help support the traditionalists' real cream argument. “My cosmetologist says shaving cream is drying out my face big time,” said an MLB player who asked not to be identified by name, “ I’m thinking about not hitting any more walk-off homers.”


Hall of Famer Bob Feller blamed modern players for the current situation. "They're a bunch of cheap bastards," said the crusty Feller. “We made about a hundred bucks a game, but we still paid for real cream – and whipped it ourselves.”


In a related story, MLB Commissioner Bud Selig denied that the torn meniscus the Florida Marlins' Chris Coghlan suffered - the first known incident of a player ending up on the DL due to shaving cream pie tomfoolery– had anything to do with a lack of real whipped cream. "Tommy Helms was not running away from Coghlan because the pie lacked whipped cream," explained Selig. "He's just got a crappy sense of humor."

<< Back

Reader Responses
Jul 29, 2010 8:45 AM
Al Lamode?
You should be either ashamed or proud....I vote latter!
  • With his legal problems over, Goodyear renews offer to advertise on Barry Bonds' head. "Blimp them," says slugger.
  • “Karma's a bitch, " said an American Buddhist Society spokesman after Tiger Woods shot 76, 75, tying for 147th and missing the cut at The Open championship.
  • Trump calls wind at St. Andrews "un-American," demands Open Championship be moved to Kansas.
  • "Mexicans can't jump, everybody knows that," Donald Trump reportedly told fans in explaining why a border fence would stop illegal immigration. "Ask the NBA about (Eduardo) Najera," explained Trump. "No hops!"
  • Citing opposition to re-branding the state name, Donald Trump has abandoned plans to buy Iowa prior to the Republican primary on Feb 1, 2016.
  • Former reality TV star Donald Trump turns down six-figure offer to host Fox Sports 1’s competitive dance show, So You Think You Can Salsa? “No mas Español,” Trump said.
  • Trump calls on American Kennel Club to ban Chihuahuas from all dog shows. "They're foreign," explained Trump.
  • Donald Trump to finance and star in "Spawn of the Dead," "horror film with comedic elements," about son who inherits 27,000 NYC properties from his millionaire slumlord father.
  • More bad news for Phil Mickelson: In addition to a burgeoning $2.7 million illegal gambling scandal, the PGA is investigating rumors that the golfer may be a registered Democrat. “We’ll get to the bottom of this,” said Tour Commissioner Tim Finchem in a terse statement to the press.
  • Heard any good rumors?
    Email the publisher!