eTrueSports Logo Saturday, April 30th, 2016
 
<< Back

American Pie Association Wants MLB To Ban Shaving Cream

Jul 28, 2010

Real Whipped Cream "A Time-Honored Baseball Tradition"

 

New York – "Whipped cream pies-in-the-face are as American as the 7th inning stretch," said a spokesman for the American Pie Association in calling today for Major League Baseball to ban the use of shaving cream in post-game celebrations. Historians praised the APA for supporting a return to time-honored tradition.

 

"Cream face pie celebrations date back to 1883," said Pie Aficionado magazine's editor Marie Callender, "when Al Lamode took one in the puss after a game between the Cincinnati Red Stockings and the Detroit Wolverines."

 

Health concerns may help support the traditionalists' real cream argument. “My cosmetologist says shaving cream is drying out my face big time,” said an MLB player who asked not to be identified by name, “ I’m thinking about not hitting any more walk-off homers.”

 

Hall of Famer Bob Feller blamed modern players for the current situation. "They're a bunch of cheap bastards," said the crusty Feller. “We made about a hundred bucks a game, but we still paid for real cream – and whipped it ourselves.”

 

In a related story, MLB Commissioner Bud Selig denied that the torn meniscus the Florida Marlins' Chris Coghlan suffered - the first known incident of a player ending up on the DL due to shaving cream pie tomfoolery– had anything to do with a lack of real whipped cream. "Tommy Helms was not running away from Coghlan because the pie lacked whipped cream," explained Selig. "He's just got a crappy sense of humor."

<< Back

Reader Responses
Jul 29, 2010 8:45 AM
Dukie4ever
Al Lamode?
You should be either ashamed or proud....I vote latter!
  • SITE REDESIGN IN PROGRESS: NEW STORIES CAN BE FOUND AT etruesports.net
  • Following Jerry Jones' comment that it was "absurd" to link football with chronic traumatic encephalopathy (C.T.E.) disease The Flat Earth Society has withdrawn an invitation to Cowboys owner to address their annual convention. "We can't afford to be embarrassed," said a Flat Earth spokesman.
  • Trump Razor Wire mogul's next venture sources tell eTrueSports. "If Donald's elected, best investment ever," says Trump insider.
  • Trump campaign pulls invite to Hall of Famer Goose Gossage to address Miami rally. "We can't afford to be embarrassed," says spokesman.
  • Paul O'Neill calls for hummus ban at Yankee Stadium. "Terrorists eat it," explained YES Network announcer and Trump supporter.
  • Citing opposition to re-branding state name, sources close to Trump say mogul abandons plan to buy Florida prior to Republican primary on Tuesday, March 15th.
  • Trump demands Knicks' rookie Porzingis produce birth certificate. "Kristaps? You call that an American name?"
  • "Who doesn't love the Indy 500?" said Donald Trump after being endorsed yesterday by NASCAR CEO Brian France.
  • Fast food chain Trumpy's Tacos files for bankruptcy. "Hispanics know nuthin about Mex food," says owner Donald Trump.
  • Heard any good rumors?
    Email the publisher!