God Denies Involvement in Steve Johnson Drop * "I stopped caring after Super Bowl XXV," says Deity

God Denies Involvement in Steve Johnson Drop

Nov 30, 2010

BALI - God disavowed today any involvement in Steve Johnson's dropped pass which cost the Buffalo Bills an overtime victory Sunday over the Pittsburgh Steelers.

“I quit taking an active role in the fortunes of the Buffalo Bills after Super Bowl XXV,” said The Big Guy in a brief interview with eTrueSports. "Scott Norwood? I'll never forgive him."

God went on to say that he believed Johnson "should stop blaming others and look in the mirror."

"Whatever," commented Johnson from Los Angeles where he is wrapping up a deal with Warner Brothers for Why So Serious?, a biopic inspired by his life.

"We're going with Will Smith playing me," explained Johnson.

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Reader Responses

Nov 30, 2010 10:57 PM

Blake

if you're a writer with of one of their checks get to the bank at 9 am.

Nov 30, 2010 10:41 PM

Kimbo

Tex's post is funny and wise. Has eTrueSports finally decided to pay writers?

Nov 30, 2010 3:09 PM

Brooklyn, Texas

Loved the article. I'd like to add my two cents. Personally I can't stand when all these athletes look heavenward when they do something good. Whatever happened to Vince Lombardi's quote about how to behave after scoring a touchdown: "Act like you've been there before." Jim Brown the greatest back of all time, just dropped the ball. No dancing, spiking, juking, no thanking God. God does not control what happens in a football game. Or any game for that matter. Or anything that happens "down here". If he did influence things there would be no 9/11, no Nagasaki, no Paris Hilton. Wez on our own folks. So let's cut back on the celebrating and confine it to when it matters - the birth of a child, buying your first house, your first kiss with Adele Musacchio. (never happened but one time I came close) The fault dear Brutus is not in the stars but in ourselves." Someone a lot smarter than me said that.

Elvis's Masters' classic: "In The Bunker"

Michael Phelps for The Clean Bong Water Foundation

In what some are saying could be a poignant end to a once promising second career, eTrueSports has learned that the Alaska Ass Clowns of the fledgling American Caucasian Basketball League have ended negotiations with Sarah Palin to become the team's new mascot Barky. "Our focus group said she'd scare children," explained an Ass Clowns' spokesman.

Sources close to Kobe Bryant have told eTrueSports the athlete/comedian will star in a remake of the 1997 TV movie "Mother Knows Best." Ironically, negotations with his own mother to play herself "have not gone well."

Liberty University has added ESPN basketball analyst Chris Broussard as a commencement speaker, eTrueSports has learned. "The world needs more black bigots," said a spokesman for the evangelical Christian school of higher learning.

Los Angeles Lakers' center Dwight Howard has been rushed to Children's Hospital where he was diagnosed with Early-Onset Megalomania. "This is a real wake-up call," Howard told eTrueSports. "I need to concentrate 100% on myself to get better."

TMZ is reporting that the Grizzlies' Zach Randolph touched the rim at 3:42 of the 3rd quarter in Tuesday's 88-84 victory over the Thunder.

“Karma’s a bitch," said a spokesman for the American Buddhist Society commenting on Tiger Woods' DQ-less loss at The Masters.

The case against the crowd outside Pauley Pavilion who demanded the return of fired basketball coach Ben Howland has been dropped by the LAPD. "Both of them are good kids," spokesman told eTrueSports. "They just made a dumb mistake."

The National Transportation Safety Board investigation into ex-UCLA basketball coach Ben Howland's offense as source of drowsiness blamed for a rash of campus pedestrian collisions has been suspended. "The Westwood nightmare is over," said an NTSB spokesman.

After selling the naming rights to their football building - now Geo Group Stadium - to a private prison company, Florida Atlantic University denied the "The Perps" (formerly "The Owls") would compete in black and white striped uniforms. "That would be tacky," explained FAU President Mary Jane Saunders.

Heard any good rumors?
Email the publisher!

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<< Back God Denies Involvement in Steve Johnson Drop Nov 30, 2010 BALI - God disavowed today any involvement in Steve Johnson's dropped pass which cost the Buffalo Bills an overtime victory Sunday over the Pittsburgh Steelers. “I quit taking an active role in the fortunes of the Buffalo Bills after Super Bowl XXV,” said The Big Guy in a brief interview with eTrueSports. "Scott Norwood? I'll never forgive him." God went on to say that he believed Johnson "should stop blaming others and look in the mirror." "Whatever," commented Johnson from Los Angeles where he is wrapping up a deal with Warner Brothers for Why So Serious?, a biopic inspired by his life. "We're going with Will Smith playing me," explained Johnson. << Back Respond to this article \| Email this article to a friend \| Reader Responses Nov 30, 2010 10:57 PM Blake if you're a writer with of one of their checks get to the bank at 9 am. Nov 30, 2010 10:41 PM Kimbo Tex's post is funny and wise. Has eTrueSports finally decided to pay writers? Nov 30, 2010 3:09 PM Brooklyn, Texas Loved the article. I'd like to add my two cents. Personally I can't stand when all these athletes look heavenward when they do something good. Whatever happened to Vince Lombardi's quote about how to behave after scoring a touchdown: "Act like you've been there before." Jim Brown the greatest back of all time, just dropped the ball. No dancing, spiking, juking, no thanking God. God does not control what happens in a football game. Or any game for that matter. Or anything that happens "down here". If he did influence things there would be no 9/11, no Nagasaki, no Paris Hilton. Wez on our own folks. So let's cut back on the celebrating and confine it to when it matters - the birth of a child, buying your first house, your first kiss with Adele Musacchio. (never happened but one time I came close) The fault dear Brutus is not in the stars but in ourselves." Someone a lot smarter than me said that. Elvis's Masters' classic: "In The Bunker" Michael Phelps for The Clean Bong Water Foundation In what some are saying could be a poignant end to a once promising second career, eTrueSports has learned that the Alaska Ass Clowns of the fledgling American Caucasian Basketball League have ended negotiations with Sarah Palin to become the team's new mascot Barky. "Our focus group said she'd scare children," explained an Ass Clowns' spokesman. Sources close to Kobe Bryant have told eTrueSports the athlete/comedian will star in a remake of the 1997 TV movie "Mother Knows Best." Ironically, negotations with his own mother to play herself "have not gone well." Liberty University has added ESPN basketball analyst Chris Broussard as a commencement speaker, eTrueSports has learned. "The world needs more black bigots," said a spokesman for the evangelical Christian school of higher learning. Los Angeles Lakers' center Dwight Howard has been rushed to Children's Hospital where he was diagnosed with Early-Onset Megalomania. "This is a real wake-up call," Howard told eTrueSports. "I need to concentrate 100% on myself to get better." TMZ is reporting that the Grizzlies' Zach Randolph touched the rim at 3:42 of the 3rd quarter in Tuesday's 88-84 victory over the Thunder. “Karma’s a bitch," said a spokesman for the American Buddhist Society commenting on Tiger Woods' DQ-less loss at The Masters. The case against the crowd outside Pauley Pavilion who demanded the return of fired basketball coach Ben Howland has been dropped by the LAPD. "Both of them are good kids," spokesman told eTrueSports. "They just made a dumb mistake." The National Transportation Safety Board investigation into ex-UCLA basketball coach Ben Howland's offense as source of drowsiness blamed for a rash of campus pedestrian collisions has been suspended. "The Westwood nightmare is over," said an NTSB spokesman. After selling the naming rights to their football building - now Geo Group Stadium - to a private prison company, Florida Atlantic University denied the "The Perps" (formerly "The Owls") would compete in black and white striped uniforms. "That would be tacky," explained FAU President Mary Jane Saunders. Heard any good rumors? Email the publisher! Most Popular Stories A-Rod Says "Sorry" With Full-Body, Pinstripe Tattoo Mets Owner to Marry - Knicks Owner! Travis Henry Rushes To Spitzer's Side Mariah Carey Turns Down Offer From Kansas City Royals Carmelo: Google's SportsApologies Widget Works Great! Read All the News!		Rare photo of golfer Bubba Watson thinking Drug scandal PR dream for A-Rod's new cereal FIFA logo could be controversial MLB's latest scandal: Pie? Cubs new logo a sure winner
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