eTrueSports Logo Thursday, December 18th, 2014
 
<< Back

Manny Fights Suspension; Sues H.S. For Failed Drug Tests

Feb 21, 2012

Alleges “Educational Malpractice”
 
OAKLAND - Seeking to overturn his 50-game MLB suspension for use of a banned substance, newly signed A's outfielder Manny Ramirez filed a lawsuit in New York State Supreme Court against his high school, George Washington, and his former chemistry teacher, Dr. Harry Dorfman, for educational malpractice.

“They should have taught me how to pass drug tests, instead of flunking me all the time,” said Ramirez in the suit.
 
“What? I should pass every dumkopf who walks in my class?” responded Dr. Dorfman in a very brief telephone interview from his home in Vero Beach, FL. 

Ramirez, who did not graduate, reportedly once welched on a $7,000 promise to buy uniforms for the poverty-stricken school.

"Karma's a bitch," observed sociolgist and professional golfer Tiger Woods.
 

<< Back

Reader Responses
No responses for this article
  • Attention Merril Hoge: Despite 30-0 loss to Bengals, QB Johnny Manziel was Cleveland's 2nd leading rusher with 13 yards. In only five carries.
  • Following the surprising news that the Knicks would move to the NBA's D-league, Phil Jackson's fiancée, the Lakers' Jeanie Buss, has refused to go house hunting in Fort Wayne, Indiana, sources have told eTrueSports.
  • In Dog Show news, Sarah Palin has called for the banning of Afghan Hounds from all U.S. competitions. "They're foreign," explained Palin.
  • “Karma never forgets," said a spokesman for the American Buddhist Society commenting on Tiger Woods' tied for last-place finish at the Hero World Challenge.
  • Sources close to Condoleezza Rice deny that the incoming NFL Commissioner is pressuring Dan Snyder to change his team's name to the Washington Mushroom Clouds.
  • The American Birther Party has withdrawn an invitation to former Chicago Bear player and coach Mike Ditka to address their annual convention in Idaho. "We can't afford to be embarrassed," a Birther spokesman told eTrueSports.
  • According to A.C. Neilsen, Fox analyst Harold Reynolds was muted 1,287,354 times during the sixth inning of World Series Game 2, a network television record.
  • SF Giants reliever Hunter Strickland will not be rehired as a mascot for the NBA's Atlanta Hawks, an off-season job the Georgia native has held for three years. "We're afraid he'll scare the younger fans,” a source told eTrueSports.
  • After discovering his NFL health care plan doesn't cover concussions, commissioner Roger Goodell announced he will no longer call Native Americans "Redskins" to their faces.
  • Heard any good rumors?
    Email the publisher!