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Clemens Asks Supreme Court For A "Mulligan"

Apr 16, 2012

DALLAS, TX -  "Johnny, I goofed up, " an apologetic Roger Clemens said he told U.S. Chief Justice John Roberts in a private weekend meeting where Clemens asked for a "mulligan" from the Supreme Court. 

"I told JR in Texas if a man is big enough to admit he's wrong, well, dang, you should be cuttin' that man some slack," explained Clemens.

"So I asked Johnny to talk to the rest of the Supreme Court folks and tell them to let me go. He said he'd think about it."

Moments later, a TV news producer interrupted the press conference to report that Justice Roberts had just issued a statement calling Clemens a "delusional fruitcake."

"That's kinda hurtful," Clemens commented.

"We're going to spend weeks and weeks defending Rog's good name in Supreme Court," said a "relieved" Rusty Hardin, Clemens' lawyer.

"I'm on retainer."

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