eTrueSports Logo Monday, March 30th, 2015
 
<< Back

Tens of Fans Attend Rays Game

Sep 18, 2012

















Tampa, FL - The Tampa Bay Rays, in an effort to boost their embarrassingly poor attendance - MLB's worst - announced that this Friday will be iPhone 5 Night, with the first 10,000 fans receiving Apple's latest gizmo, absolutely free.

"We're hoping to pull in at least 8,000 fans for this very attractive promotion," said Tampa Bay Rays' owner Stuart Sternberg, who added that no one receiving an iPhone would be forced to stay more than one inning. 

Sternberg said that Tropicana Field's concession stands would also be selling fan fav banana-flavored Dippin' Dots at a "steep discount."

 
Other Ray's promotions in the works are Big Screen TV Night, McMansion Makeover Monday, Tesla Roadster Day, and, for Father's Day, Viagra Night.


"Who doesn't love Dippin' Dots?" said Rays' All-star third baseman Evan Longoria who predicted a sellout for Friday's night game againt the Toronto Blue Jays. 

<< Back

Reader Responses
No responses for this article
  • Check your bed for horse heads? "A man in my position can't afford to be made to look ridiculous," said the Knicks' James Dolan on being ranked by ESPN the worst NBA owner.
  • ESPN poll names James Dolan NBA's worst owner. "Karma's a bitch," observed sociologist and professional golfer Tiger Woods.
  • Irate NCAA basketball fans crashed CBS Sports website Saturday night with thousands of e-mails calling for the firing of color commentator Len Elmore. "It's like being forced to have dinner with a grumpy uncle who hates every dish," said one message. "It makes you never want to eat again."
  • Basketball writer/analyst Seth Davis will become a full-time Burger King celebrity spokesperson when the NCAA tourney wraps. "Journalism is for saps," said Davis.
  • A.C. Neilson reports during Sunday's KU/Wichita St game CBS analyst Chris Webber was muted by 4.7 million fans, a network television record.
  • "This is quite a wakeup call," said Roger Clemens after agreeing to settle a defamation lawsuit his former trainer Brain McNamee filed in 2009. "I'm going to look very closely at the amount of lying I've been doing."
  • Mets withdraw offer to Donald Trump to be team's official mascot. "Some worrywart parents thought he'd scare young fans," says source.
  • Breaking: Lance Armstrong is set to star in Fox's new summer sitcom, "A Return To Gullible Island," and will sing the show's theme song, "A Three Hour Tour de France," eTrueSports has learned.
  • Mets' 2nd basemen Daniel Murphy's autobiography, "Ignorant Bigot: A Life Unexamined" being shopped to NY publishers eTrueSports has learned. "It's a quick read," said one editor who reviewed book proposal.
  • Heard any good rumors?
    Email the publisher!