eTrueSports Logo Sunday, July 31st, 2016
 
<< Back

Tens of Fans Attend Rays Game

Sep 18, 2012

















Tampa, FL - The Tampa Bay Rays, in an effort to boost their embarrassingly poor attendance - MLB's worst - announced that this Friday will be iPhone 5 Night, with the first 10,000 fans receiving Apple's latest gizmo, absolutely free.

"We're hoping to pull in at least 8,000 fans for this very attractive promotion," said Tampa Bay Rays' owner Stuart Sternberg, who added that no one receiving an iPhone would be forced to stay more than one inning. 

Sternberg said that Tropicana Field's concession stands would also be selling fan fav banana-flavored Dippin' Dots at a "steep discount."

 
Other Ray's promotions in the works are Big Screen TV Night, McMansion Makeover Monday, Tesla Roadster Day, and, for Father's Day, Viagra Night.


"Who doesn't love Dippin' Dots?" said Rays' All-star third baseman Evan Longoria who predicted a sellout for Friday's night game againt the Toronto Blue Jays. 

<< Back

Reader Responses
No responses for this article
  • SITE REDESIGN IN PROGRESS: NEW STORIES CAN BE FOUND AT etruesports.net
  • Following Jerry Jones' comment that it was "absurd" to link football with chronic traumatic encephalopathy (C.T.E.) disease The Flat Earth Society has withdrawn an invitation to Cowboys owner to address their annual convention. "We can't afford to be embarrassed," said a Flat Earth spokesman.
  • Trump Razor Wire mogul's next venture sources tell eTrueSports. "If Donald's elected, best investment ever," says Trump insider.
  • Trump campaign pulls invite to Hall of Famer Goose Gossage to address Miami rally. "We can't afford to be embarrassed," says spokesman.
  • Paul O'Neill calls for hummus ban at Yankee Stadium. "Terrorists eat it," explained YES Network announcer and Trump supporter.
  • Citing opposition to re-branding state name, sources close to Trump say mogul abandons plan to buy Florida prior to Republican primary on Tuesday, March 15th.
  • Trump demands Knicks' rookie Porzingis produce birth certificate. "Kristaps? You call that an American name?"
  • "Who doesn't love the Indy 500?" said Donald Trump after being endorsed yesterday by NASCAR CEO Brian France.
  • Fast food chain Trumpy's Tacos files for bankruptcy. "Hispanics know nuthin about Mex food," says owner Donald Trump.
  • Heard any good rumors?
    Email the publisher!