eTrueSports Logo Saturday, November 28th, 2015
<< Back

OBAMA SHOCKS WORLD: Quits, Signs with Bulls

Nov 8, 2012

"Being in the same room with Mitch McConnell ain't worth it, nothing is."

WASHINGTON – "McConnell's the worst downer I've ever met," said President Barack Obama moments after announcing he will immediately resign the Presidency to sign a non-guaranteed contract with his hometown Chicago Bulls.

McConnell, a Kentucky Republican who is the Senate Minority Leader, called Obama's comments "hurtful."

“Talk about the audacity of hope,” commented Scott Skiles, coach of the Milwaukee Bucks, Chicago's Central Division rivals. “From the video I’ve seen O.B. can't jump over a stat sheet.”

"I'm ready to serve," said the new 45th President of the United States, Joe Biden.

"I'm ready to shoot jumpers," said Obama.

<< Back

Reader Responses
Nov 8, 2012 2:03 AM
McConnell knows Washington and has the courage to call the resurgent U.S. Commies what they are: the greatest threat to liberty ever. And you mock him?  
"Onward, through the fog"
  • "Follow the falafel," says Donald Trump in call for monitoring of all Muslim tailgaters. "A-rab terrorists can't resist the stuff."
  • Ben Carson's proof of liberal media bias: "When was last time you went into movie theatre and saw a newsreel showing cheering Arab tailgaters?"
  • NBA considering league-wide ban on all Kardashians. Soul-sucking family tied to brutal start for Houston Rockets; all-star James Harden linked to female gang member.
  • "I'm only a jerk when I'm losing," said the Clippers' Chris Paul responding to an NBA players' poll finding him the league's No. 1 entitled punk.
  • Trump calls on NBA Muslims to be monitored. "Giant darkies" could be used by terrorists to id vulnerable roofs in urban locations.
  • Kings' DeMarques Cousins demands trade to Clippers, wants to take whining to next level. "No one grouses better," Cousins said. "They never stop!"
  • With his legal problems over, Goodyear renews offer to advertise on Barry Bonds' head. "Blimp them," says slugger.
  • “Karma's a bitch, " said an American Buddhist Society spokesman after Tiger Woods shot 76, 75, tying for 147th and missing the cut at The Open championship.
  • Trump calls wind at St. Andrews "un-American," demands Open Championship be moved to Kansas.
  • Heard any good rumors?
    Email the publisher!