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Brawling For Dollars: UFC Signs Sarah Palin

Sep 13, 2014

New York (eTrueSports) - Former Alaska governor Sarah Palin has been signed by Ultimate Fighting Championships and will compete in the MMA women’s 145-pound division. Palin’s first bout is scheduled for November 21st against former champion Gina Carano.

"After seeing the Alaska brawl, we were convinced," said UFC President Dana White. "She's a mean, vicious little SOB who will fit in beautifully with our UFC family.”

Palin's entire clan recently sharpened their fighting skills in a violent, alcohol-driven bloody altercation at an Anchorage Alaska birthday party - drawing rave reviews for daughter Bristol's powerful right hand sucker punches and mother Sarah's "Don't you know who I am?" shrieks.

A Palin confidante denied the move to the UFC was a response to lagging speaking engagement offers.  "Talking and thinking can be exhausting," said the source. "Fighting is like oxygen for Sarah."

Former champ Carano was unimpressed. “Abject ignorance is not the image MMA fighters want or should present to the world. And, honestly, the Brazilian fighting bottoms aren't a good look for her.”

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Reader Responses
Sep 14, 2014 10:19 PM
Edgar
That's funny. And gawd help us all, it's also plausible.
Sep 13, 2014 1:31 PM
Jelly
From an observer of the Palin conflagration:  "When the host of the party asked Bristol to leave, she "planted her feet, stood straight up, brought her arm back and cold-cocked him right in the face."   Dana, you listening?
"Onward, through the fog"
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