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Will Deflated Balls Sack 'Belicheat'?

Jan 21, 2015


Boston (eTrueSports) - In the wake of new cheating accusations, Bill Belichick will reportedly resign as coach of the New England Patriots, eTrueSports has learned. The shocking news took a bizarre turn when it was revealed that Belichick, known for his 'hurry-up offense,' immediately plans to open "Hoodies R Us," a hi-end clothing store.

"I've always dreamed of working in retail," said Belichick. "I'm a people person."

The stunning NFL report will accuse Belichick's Patriots of  under-inflating 11 of the 12 footballs they used in their AFC blowout of the Colts. As with the infamous 2007 Spygate incident , an illegal video taping operation, Belichick was expected to deny the accusations.
But when a (brave) reporter asked Belichick whether he might be suffering from Candor Deficit Disorder, known to affect over 85% of all NFL coaches, Belichick's normally terse script was tossed away.

After a long pause, a suddenly  emotional Belichick answered, "I've probably had CDD all my life. Who knew?"

After composing himself, Belichick was later asked whether he was concerned about competition from industry giants such as Armani, Tommy Hilfinger and Marc Ekco.

“We make one hoodie at a time,” said the coach.


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Reader Responses
Jan 21, 2015 11:06 AM
Looks like he's got his ballsack in a wringer!
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