eTrueSports Logo Friday, March 24th, 2017
<< Back

Easy-to-Follow Talking Points for Marshawn Lynch

Jan 30, 2015

10.    "Hi, I’m Marshawn."

  9.    "Visited the Space Needle. Once."

  8.    "I’m considering a haircut."

  7.    "Seattle rains a lot."

  6.    "I beg your pardon."

  5.    "I pride myself on being courteous to everyone, even fat reporters."

  4.    "Quite candidly, I've never enjoyed public speaking."

  3.    "I think it's fair to say that everyone defines rudeness a bit differently."

  2.    "I'm sick of Skittles …"

   1.   "I will never embarrass my hometown of Oakland with cartoon boorish behavior."

<< Back

Reader Responses
No responses for this article
  • Following Jerry Jones' comment that it was "absurd" to link football with chronic traumatic encephalopathy (C.T.E.) disease The Flat Earth Society has withdrawn an invitation to Cowboys owner to address their annual convention. "We can't afford to be embarrassed," said a Flat Earth spokesman.
  • Trump Razor Wire mogul's next venture sources tell eTrueSports. "If Donald's elected, best investment ever," says Trump insider.
  • Trump campaign pulls invite to Hall of Famer Goose Gossage to address Miami rally. "We can't afford to be embarrassed," says spokesman.
  • Paul O'Neill calls for hummus ban at Yankee Stadium. "Terrorists eat it," explained YES Network announcer and Trump supporter.
  • Citing opposition to re-branding state name, sources close to Trump say mogul abandons plan to buy Florida prior to Republican primary on Tuesday, March 15th.
  • Trump demands Knicks' rookie Porzingis produce birth certificate. "Kristaps? You call that an American name?"
  • "Who doesn't love the Indy 500?" said Donald Trump after being endorsed yesterday by NASCAR CEO Brian France.
  • Fast food chain Trumpy's Tacos files for bankruptcy. "Hispanics know nuthin about Mex food," says owner Donald Trump.
  • Heard any good rumors?
    Email the publisher!