eTrueSports Logo Monday, February 27th, 2017
 
<< Back

Lance Armstrong Rushes To Brian Williams' Bedside

Feb 5, 2015


New York (eTrueSports) -  After learning that beleaguered NBC news anchor Brian Williams is reportedly refusing to leave his bed, Lance Armstrong announced he was flying to New York to counsel "the bravest man in America."

Williams apologized on Wednesday night's broadcast for lying for over ten years about a supposed near death experience in Iraq.

"I know where Brian's coming from," said Armstrong, who pledged that his Lie Strong foundation would support the serial prevaricator until it was "inconvenient or costly" to  do so.

“I wonder if Brian's ever met Lance,” commented a former NBC colleague who requested anonymity.  "He’s a genuine dickhead.”





 

<< Back

Reader Responses
No responses for this article
  • SITE REDESIGN IN PROGRESS: NEW STORIES CAN BE FOUND AT etruesports.net
  • Following Jerry Jones' comment that it was "absurd" to link football with chronic traumatic encephalopathy (C.T.E.) disease The Flat Earth Society has withdrawn an invitation to Cowboys owner to address their annual convention. "We can't afford to be embarrassed," said a Flat Earth spokesman.
  • Trump Razor Wire mogul's next venture sources tell eTrueSports. "If Donald's elected, best investment ever," says Trump insider.
  • Trump campaign pulls invite to Hall of Famer Goose Gossage to address Miami rally. "We can't afford to be embarrassed," says spokesman.
  • Paul O'Neill calls for hummus ban at Yankee Stadium. "Terrorists eat it," explained YES Network announcer and Trump supporter.
  • Citing opposition to re-branding state name, sources close to Trump say mogul abandons plan to buy Florida prior to Republican primary on Tuesday, March 15th.
  • Trump demands Knicks' rookie Porzingis produce birth certificate. "Kristaps? You call that an American name?"
  • "Who doesn't love the Indy 500?" said Donald Trump after being endorsed yesterday by NASCAR CEO Brian France.
  • Fast food chain Trumpy's Tacos files for bankruptcy. "Hispanics know nuthin about Mex food," says owner Donald Trump.
  • Heard any good rumors?
    Email the publisher!