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FCC To Ban Close-Ups of Coach K, Roy Williams

Mar 23, 2015

Washington (eTrueSports) - Following a torrent of complaints from outraged parents the FCC is reportedly set to ban TV close-ups of basketball coaches Roy Williams and Mike Krzyzewski during game broadcasts.

"The parents were right," said FCC chairman Tom Wheeler. "Close-ups of snarling, shrieking adults can be truly upsetting for young viewers. Anger, ugliness really, scares them. With so many kids watching the NCAA tournament we felt compelled to take action."

That action was an order from Wheeler to CBS, TNT, truTV and ESPN to stop airing close-ups of North Carolina's Williams (reknown for fits of 'Roy Rage') and Duke's Krzyzewski; the geriatric grumblers are generally acknowledged as the most egregious children-scarers in coaching.

"This is a great day for kids of all ages," added Wheeler.

"Martial arts is way uglier," said a source close to Krzyzewski.

In a related story Williams has signed with Alpha Books to pen The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Whining.

“I’ve been an unpleasant crybaby all my life,” said Williams, "and this seems a good way to make money off of it."

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