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Jesus Calls Mets' Daniel Murphy a "Doofus"

Mar 30, 2015

New York (eTrueSports) - In an exclusive interview with eTrueSports, Jesus Christ called the Mets' Daniel Murphy a "doofus" for his comments last month on former major leaguer Billy Bean's homosexuality, which included this bizarre beauty: "I do disagree with the fact that Billy is a homosexual." 

Murphy said his position was based on  "trying to surrender to Christ in my own life."
 
"Leave me out of it," said Mr. Christ who added he was "flabbergasted" at Murphy's "baffling and incoherent" ignorance of the "lessons of the Bible and of my own life.

"If I were a Mets' fan," said Christ softly, "I'd boo his tuchas off."

In a related story, Indiana governor Mike Pence nominated Murphy to the Indiana Sports Hall of Fame. "Danny may not be from Indiana, but he's 100% male and loves freedom," explained Pence.

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