After learning that his own NFL health care plan doesn't cover concussions, commissioner Roger Goodell has decided not to call Native Americans "Redskins" to their face, eTrueSports has learned.
Minutes after revelations that he knew about the infamous George Washington bridge lane closings, Chris Christie directed the state attorney to terminate the Giants' MetLife Stadium lease. "New Jersey can't afford to be embarrassed," Christie told eTrueSports.
"Mascot karma's a bitch," a spokesman for the American Buddhist Club told eTrueSports at the Washington R-word's Super Bowl party celebrating their 2013 season.
Alex Rodriguez has reportedly turned down a seven-figure Disney offer to star in the biopic The Chickens Have Come Home To Roost. "Cluck them," said A-Rod
The New York Yankees announced they will purchase the Dominican Republic. “When we crunched the numbers turned out it was cheaper to buy the whole country, than sign individual players,” explained Yankees’ GM Brian Cashman.
For his 100th column calling agent Scott Boras a "bad person," ESPN's Bill Simmons has won The Ethical Culture Society's Truth Award. "I never won anything before," said Simmons, "this is really neat."
The Knicks have reportedly destroyed 20,000 posters which featured J.R. Smith, Kenyon Martin and Carmelo Anthony beneath the headline: A JERK, A THUG, AND A PUNK WILL LEAD THEM. "Jimmy Dolan thought it was cool,"
a Knicks' marketing executive told eTrueSports about the team's owner. "He wrote it."
"Totally counter-intuitive," a book publishing executive told eTrueSports about Derek Jeter's just announced imprint at Simon & Schuster. "He hasn't had an opinion about anything for 20 years."
Satire Free Zone: "Vladimir Putin one-ups Chuck Norris with ninth-degree black belt." Killer last graph: "So rest easy, Chuck Norris. Not that he needs to. Chuck Norris doesn’t sleep. He waits." (Chris Chase, For The Win, USA Today)
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