The World Series of Spitting

Jan 22, 2011 03:30 PM  | Thomas Dolt

NEW YORK - We've recently discovered a swell new sport that both men and women can enjoy together, Spitting, whose official season winds up with Spittoono, the World Series of Spitting, held annually now for some 27 years in Clemson, South Carolina.

The sport of Spitting is not complicated. If you squirt a stream of Red Man chewing tobacco further than anybody else you win. Pretty simple. And pretty cool. By the way, Spittoono is put on each year by the Redneck Performing Arts Association (RPAA), and they deserve kudos all around.

Important for all emerging sports, Spitting has its star, Bill Barrioz, the Babe Ruth of Spitting, The Great Expectorator, The Sultan of Sputum. Bill's hegemony over Spittoono was virtually unparalleled, he won every year - though exactly how many years is a matter of some dispute as Spittoono record keeping was, and is. somewhat spotty.  

As the competition is held in Clemson, a college town with a college named, uh, Clemson, many fans and organizers of Spittoono have been lobbying the school to help legitimize their sport with an academic imprimatur (as Florida State has done with a Suntanning degree program). Next year those efforts will be rewarded with what is believed to be the first higher education course devoted exclusively to spitting: Sputum Flinging 101.  A degree program will likely not be far behind.