eTrueSports Logo Friday, May 22nd, 2015
 

eTrueSports Columnists

Frank Coffey
Current Column:
Top 11 Lakers' Excuses
11. Lethargic after listening to the Zen Master's pre-game reading of Allen Ginsburg's "Howl" 10. Whichever Kardashian Lamar married, he misses her like crazy when we're on the road 9. Sometimes when things don't go Kobe's way he tends to pout   ...show all columns
Thomas Dolt
Current Column:
The World Series of Spitting
We've recently discovered a swell new sport that both men and women can enjoy together, Spitting  ...show all columns
Downs MacRury
Current Column:
Tim Duncan's Top 11 All-Time Best Quotes
8. Texas is hot. 7. May I have another bowl of Armadillo soup please? 6. Greg Popovich has a funny name. 5. If you think Ginobili is from Italy, think again.   ...show all columns
Ray Dougela
Current Column:
Golf The Way It Oughta Be
The essence of golf: Hurl clubs. Curse lavishly. Kick stuff. Drink, then drink some more.   ...show all columns
Burke Terry
Current Column:
Baseball?s All-Time Business Name Team
I apologize for including Yan ? I couldn?t help myself. If life were more perfect his name would be spelled Yuan, an up-and-coming financial name if ever there was one, and he?d be our bullpen closer.  ...show all columns
Chris Simmons
Current Column:
The Chris Simmons "Inner-View": Jose Canseco
Clemens ain?t talking. Finally, Roger?s being smart. Luckily for me, though, Jose has never been and never will be confused for a Mensa member.   ...show all columns
Bookie Mom
Current Column:
The N.B.A. ? A League of Corruption Just a Phone Call Away
Wow, there?s lots of chatter out there, about the N.B.A being ?a league in cahoots?. How 'bout this year?s odds of a rumored long-ago dynasty (Rome? Pompeii? No, Chicago!) winning this year?s number one pick ? Oh??. It DID happen?   ...show all columns
  • ESPN poll names James Dolan NBA's worst owner. "Karma's a bitch," observed former competitive golfer Tiger Woods.
  • In addition to stiffing a "underage" 12-year schoolboy out of $20k for completing best NCAA bracket, financially troubled ESPN announced that cappuccino prices in Bristol CT employee cafeteria will rise to $9.95. Company also strongly advises parents of bracket winner Sam Holtz to take away boy's allowance and internet access across all platforms.
  • Check your bed for horse heads? "A man in my position can't afford to be made to look ridiculous," said the Knicks' James Dolan on being ranked by ESPN the worst NBA owner.
  • Breaking: Lance Armstrong is set to star in Fox's new summer sitcom, "A Return To Gullible Island," and will sing the show's theme song, "A Three Hour Tour de France," eTrueSports has learned.
  • "This is quite a wakeup call," said Roger Clemens after agreeing to settle a defamation lawsuit his former trainer Brain McNamee filed in 2009. "I'm going to look very closely at the amount of lying I've been doing."
  • Irate NCAA basketball fans crashed CBS Sports website Saturday night with thousands of e-mails calling for the firing of color commentator Len Elmore. "It's like being forced to have dinner with a grumpy uncle who hates every dish," said one message. "It makes you never want to eat again."
  • Mets withdraw offer to Donald Trump to be team's official mascot. "Some worrywart parents thought he'd scare young fans," says source.
  • Developing Story: Nation shocked that Ultimate Fighting is a drug-drenched brutal spectacle.
  • Ultimate Fighting in negotiations with PBS for children's show. "We think kids will love watching other kids kick one another in the face," said UFC president Dana White, "plus they'll learn about tattoos."
  • Heard any good rumors?
    Email the publisher!