eTrueSports Logo Tuesday, September 30th, 2014
 

eTrueSports Columnists

Frank Coffey
Current Column:
Top 11 Lakers' Excuses
11. Lethargic after listening to the Zen Master's pre-game reading of Allen Ginsburg's "Howl" 10. Whichever Kardashian Lamar married, he misses her like crazy when we're on the road 9. Sometimes when things don't go Kobe's way he tends to pout   ...show all columns
Thomas Dolt
Current Column:
The World Series of Spitting
We've recently discovered a swell new sport that both men and women can enjoy together, Spitting  ...show all columns
Downs MacRury
Current Column:
Tim Duncan's Top 11 All-Time Best Quotes
8. Texas is hot. 7. May I have another bowl of Armadillo soup please? 6. Greg Popovich has a funny name. 5. If you think Ginobili is from Italy, think again.   ...show all columns
Ray Dougela
Current Column:
Golf The Way It Oughta Be
The essence of golf: Hurl clubs. Curse lavishly. Kick stuff. Drink, then drink some more.   ...show all columns
Burke Terry
Current Column:
Baseball?s All-Time Business Name Team
I apologize for including Yan ? I couldn?t help myself. If life were more perfect his name would be spelled Yuan, an up-and-coming financial name if ever there was one, and he?d be our bullpen closer.  ...show all columns
Chris Simmons
Current Column:
The Chris Simmons "Inner-View": Jose Canseco
Clemens ain?t talking. Finally, Roger?s being smart. Luckily for me, though, Jose has never been and never will be confused for a Mensa member.   ...show all columns
Bookie Mom
Current Column:
The N.B.A. ? A League of Corruption Just a Phone Call Away
Wow, there?s lots of chatter out there, about the N.B.A being ?a league in cahoots?. How 'bout this year?s odds of a rumored long-ago dynasty (Rome? Pompeii? No, Chicago!) winning this year?s number one pick ? Oh??. It DID happen?   ...show all columns
  • Sources close to Condoleezza Rice deny that the incoming NFL Commissioner is pressuring Dan Snyder to change his team's name to the Washington Mushroom Clouds.
  • The American Birther Party has withdrawn an invitation to former Chicago Bear player and coach Mike Ditka to address their annual convention in Idaho. "We can't afford to be embarrassed," a Birther spokesman told eTrueSports.
  • In Dog Show news, Sarah Palin has called for the banning of Afghan Hounds from all U.S. competitions. "They're foreign," explained Palin.
  • "A dream come true," a source close to the Cleveland Indians told eTrueSports about the media attention focused on the Washington Redskins offensive nickname.
  • "Karma's a bitch and she's got a long memory," a spokesman for the American Buddhist Society told eTrueSports after learning that Tiger Woods failed to make the cut in the 2014 PGA Championship.
  • Amazon Publishing announced it will release Jason R. Kidd's "Integrity in Life, Work & Athletics," with a forward by Skip Bayless, in time for the opening of the NBA 2014-15 season. "It's a quick read," said an Amazon spokesman.
  • Jason Kidd reportedly told the Nets he had been diagnosed with early-onset megalomania, and needed "to concentrate 100% on myself to get better and richer."
  • Antiseptic ointment giant Bacitracin is set to name Uruguayan soccer star Luis Suarez a national spokesperson, eTrueSports has learned.
  • After discovering his NFL health care plan doesn't cover concussions, commissioner Roger Goodell announced he will no longer call Native Americans "Redskins" to their faces.
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