eTrueSports Logo Thursday, April 24th, 2014
 

eTrueSports Columnists

Frank Coffey
Current Column:
Top 11 Lakers' Excuses
11. Lethargic after listening to the Zen Master's pre-game reading of Allen Ginsburg's "Howl" 10. Whichever Kardashian Lamar married, he misses her like crazy when we're on the road 9. Sometimes when things don't go Kobe's way he tends to pout   ...show all columns
Thomas Dolt
Current Column:
The World Series of Spitting
We've recently discovered a swell new sport that both men and women can enjoy together, Spitting  ...show all columns
Downs MacRury
Current Column:
Tim Duncan's Top 11 All-Time Best Quotes
8. Texas is hot. 7. May I have another bowl of Armadillo soup please? 6. Greg Popovich has a funny name. 5. If you think Ginobili is from Italy, think again.   ...show all columns
Ray Dougela
Current Column:
Golf The Way It Oughta Be
The essence of golf: Hurl clubs. Curse lavishly. Kick stuff. Drink, then drink some more.   ...show all columns
Burke Terry
Current Column:
Baseball?s All-Time Business Name Team
I apologize for including Yan ? I couldn?t help myself. If life were more perfect his name would be spelled Yuan, an up-and-coming financial name if ever there was one, and he?d be our bullpen closer.  ...show all columns
Chris Simmons
Current Column:
The Chris Simmons "Inner-View": Jose Canseco
Clemens ain?t talking. Finally, Roger?s being smart. Luckily for me, though, Jose has never been and never will be confused for a Mensa member.   ...show all columns
Bookie Mom
Current Column:
The N.B.A. ? A League of Corruption Just a Phone Call Away
Wow, there?s lots of chatter out there, about the N.B.A being ?a league in cahoots?. How 'bout this year?s odds of a rumored long-ago dynasty (Rome? Pompeii? No, Chicago!) winning this year?s number one pick ? Oh??. It DID happen?   ...show all columns
  • Sources close to the Red Sox say due to a scheduling conflict, former pitcher Bill Lee will not throw out the first ball against the Orioles on Sunday, April 20th. "Somebody spaced out," one longtime Sox observer told eTrueSports.
  • Oklahoma center Kendrick Perkins touched the rim late in the 2nd quarter of the Thunder's OT loss to Memphis on Monday, eTrueSports has learned.
  • Papa John's Pizza pitchman Jim Nantz has taken the lead in the Annual Worst Actor In A Commercial Award, eTrueSports has learned. "Truly embarrassing," a longtime Madison Ave. executive said, who called the currently airing national spot "as cheap and crappy as the pizza."
  • Tigers' star Miguel Cabrera announced he will use a portion of his $248 million contract extension to purchase Detroit. "Good write-off," said Cabrera.
  • "Karma's a bitch and she's got a long memory," a spokesman for the American Buddhist Club told eTrueSports about Tiger Woods' withdrawal from the 2014 Masters.
  • In another example of government-regulation-gone-wild, the FCC has ruled that at least one minute of broadcast time during each hour of Masters broadcasts be reserved for “non-erectile dysfunction” products.
  • A crowd outside WFAN studios supporting Mike Francesa was dispersed without incident by the NYPD late Friday afternoon. "Neither of them had their hearts in it," a patrolman told eTrueSports.
  • Knicks' owner James Dolan will finance and star in "Spawn of the Dead," described as a "horror film with comedic elements," eTrueSports has learned. The Mets Jeff Wilpon and Yankees' Hank Steinbrenner are reportedly considering co-starring roles.
  • A challenge overturned the Mets' GM Sandy Alderson's 'We're-a-90-victory team' assertion in the first pre-game use of MLB's new replay system. "Delusional and sad," said a source close to Commissioner Bud Selig.
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