eTrueSports Logo Monday, March 2nd, 2015
 

eTrueSports Columnists

Frank Coffey
Current Column:
Top 11 Lakers' Excuses
11. Lethargic after listening to the Zen Master's pre-game reading of Allen Ginsburg's "Howl" 10. Whichever Kardashian Lamar married, he misses her like crazy when we're on the road 9. Sometimes when things don't go Kobe's way he tends to pout   ...show all columns
Thomas Dolt
Current Column:
The World Series of Spitting
We've recently discovered a swell new sport that both men and women can enjoy together, Spitting  ...show all columns
Downs MacRury
Current Column:
Tim Duncan's Top 11 All-Time Best Quotes
8. Texas is hot. 7. May I have another bowl of Armadillo soup please? 6. Greg Popovich has a funny name. 5. If you think Ginobili is from Italy, think again.   ...show all columns
Ray Dougela
Current Column:
Golf The Way It Oughta Be
The essence of golf: Hurl clubs. Curse lavishly. Kick stuff. Drink, then drink some more.   ...show all columns
Burke Terry
Current Column:
Baseball?s All-Time Business Name Team
I apologize for including Yan ? I couldn?t help myself. If life were more perfect his name would be spelled Yuan, an up-and-coming financial name if ever there was one, and he?d be our bullpen closer.  ...show all columns
Chris Simmons
Current Column:
The Chris Simmons "Inner-View": Jose Canseco
Clemens ain?t talking. Finally, Roger?s being smart. Luckily for me, though, Jose has never been and never will be confused for a Mensa member.   ...show all columns
Bookie Mom
Current Column:
The N.B.A. ? A League of Corruption Just a Phone Call Away
Wow, there?s lots of chatter out there, about the N.B.A being ?a league in cahoots?. How 'bout this year?s odds of a rumored long-ago dynasty (Rome? Pompeii? No, Chicago!) winning this year?s number one pick ? Oh??. It DID happen?   ...show all columns
  • Breaking: According to sources Lance Armstrong is set to star in Fox's new summer sitcom, "A Return To Gullible Island," and will sing the show's theme song, "A Three Hour Tour de France."
  • After learning at least two NFL officials stole in-play game balls intended for charity, top PR crisis firm DBBO WideWorld has resigned the NFL account. "It's hopeless," said a DBBO spokesman.
  • Developing Story: Nation shocked that Ultimate Fighting is a drug-drenched brutal spectacle.
  • Ultimate Fighting in negotiations with PBS for children's show. "We think kids will love watching other kids kick one another in the face," said UFC president Dana White, "plus they'll learn about tattoos."
  • The American Delusional Narcissist Society is set to induct Alex Rodriguez and Donald Trump into its Hall of Fame, eTruesports has learned.
  • According to sources in Finland, Jameis Winston failed to qualify for the upcoming World Mobile Phone Throwing Championships in Savonlinna, FI.
  • Sarah Palin has called on the Westminster Kennel Club to ban Afghan Hounds from their 139th Annual Dog Show. "They're foreign," explained Palin.
  • During a bizarre Pebble Beach interview Clint Eastwood suggested NHL experiment with 'Death Penalty Box.'
  • In NASCAR news, the pre-eminent stock car racing organization announced commitment to carbon neutrality by century's end.
  • Heard any good rumors?
    Email the publisher!