eTrueSports Logo Tuesday, March 28th, 2017
Frank Coffey
A book, magazine and newspaper editor, Frank Coffey is co-author of the critically praised humor books The Complete Idoit’s Guide for Dumies (Buy my book!), The All Time Baseball Teams Book and The Wit and Wisdom of George Steinbrenner, as well as thirty-two other books including 60 Minutes: 25 Years of Television's Finest Hour. He has written for television, feature films and is the author of four novels.
Frank Coffey can be contacted at

May 9, 2011
Top 11 Lakers' Excuses
11. Lethargic after listening to the Zen Master's pre-game reading of Allen Ginsburg's "Howl" 10. Whichever Kardashian Lamar married, he misses her like crazy when we're on the road 9. Sometimes when things don't go Kobe's way he tends to pout

Mar 9, 2011
Golf The Way It Oughta Be
Venice, CA - Golf is the inner game, the game of satori. Of visualization, of imagination. Golfers don?t compete; they attempt to transcend their emotions. Never have I heard a bigger crock of crap.

Feb 14, 2011
Kobe Bryant: I Should Be the Lakers' Official DJ
CHARLOTTE - After a 20 point blowout loss to the Bobcats, Kobe Bryant demanded the Lakers make him the team's official DJ. Read on for KB's bound-to-be controversial first playlist:

Feb 2, 2010
Top Eleven NHL Marketing Suggestions For The PGA
In an interview with eTrueSports, NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman offered these helpful marketing suggestions to the PGA?s Tim Finchem. Freeze greens: people like to see rich people fall on their asses.

Oct 16, 2008
Top 11 Things Joe Torre Doesn't Love About LA
McCourt won't validate parking

Jul 31, 2008
The Biggest Sports Story of the Second Half of 2008
New owner Cuban renames Wrigley Yahoo! Yards

Jul 7, 2008
My Golf
Golf is a game that should be played in a full-bore rage.

Jul 7, 2008
Top Eleven Things A-Rod and Madonna Can Do Together
11. Torch the publisher?s warehouse where copies of Chris Ciccone?s book ?Life With My Sister Madonna? are stored 10. Fly to Paris for make-nice dinner with Lenny and Cyn 9. Enter ?Dancing With The Stars? (Seems obvious, but you never know) 8. Fast forward through Madonna?s baseball scenes in a A League of Their Own 7. Record really funny singing messages on their cell phones 6. Pedicures! 5. Wear his and her Meat Hats to avoid paparazzi 4. Begin writing ?Material Girl Meets Material Boy: How To Find The Perfect Mate? bestseller 3. Definitely go over to Gwyneth?s place for New Year?s Eve 2. Organize a play date for the kids at Scores

Jun 21, 2008
Next Week's Headlines Today
Dork Smack Down Supreme Court Declares Fantasy Baseball Leagues Unconstitutional and Boring "Get a life" says Justice Scalia

Jun 20, 2008
Tiger-less Tour: Top Eleven NHL Suggestions to the PGA
Allow galleries to throw octopi on putting surfaces

Apr 27, 2008
Top Eleven Reasons Joe Torre Wants Out of LA
Frank McCourt won't validate parking

Mar 21, 2008
Eight, No Nine, Great Things Yanks and Sox Can Do Together
No. 1. Serve Rico Petrocelli?s and Joe Pepitone?s favorite dishes in one another?s clubhouses

Mar 5, 2008
eTrueSports Eight Great Things Yanks and Sox Can Do Together
Number One: Have Rico Petrocelli and Joe Pepitone make guest appearances at the other's team's fantasy camps.

Feb 29, 2008
Golf The Way It Oughta Be
Golf is no longer a sport, it?s a religion. The growing sanctification of golf is a trend I find both baffling and manifestly annoying. Every time I hear the unctuous voice of commentator Jim Nantz I want to barf.

Dec 17, 2007
Clemens: It's A Plot! Chef Laced Veggies with Steroids
Shaq: "Oprah, I Need Your Help!"

Dec 10, 2007
Belichick to Jets: Sunday You Will Cry! - Next Week's News

Nov 25, 2007
Belichick to Jets: Sunday You Will Cry! - Next Week's News
Shaq: "Oprah, I Need Your Help!"

Nov 22, 2007
Eli: "My Brother's A Bastard!" - Next Week's Headlines
Red Sox World Series Title Pulled: GM Theo Epstein Found To Be Underage

Nov 22, 2007
Headlines You Won't See This Week
Eli Manning: "My Brother's A Bastard!"

Aug 8, 2007
Kobe Bryant's iPod Shuffle
"I Wanna Talk About Me" and other Kobe Bryant faves.

Jul 26, 2007
Top Ten Other Reasons For Bud Missing Bonds' Big Game
Barring injury, sometime in August Barry Bonds will pass Hank Aaron's all time home run record of 755. All circumstantial evidence indicates that Bonds used illegal substances to increase body mass, making his fly balls fly over the fence instead of landing in front of it. But Bonds has not been convicted of anything, putting baseball commissioner Bud Selig in the awkward position of needing a good reason not to be anywhere near a stadium when Bonds seizes baseball's most hallowed record. Here's some help for Bud.

Jul 4, 2007
Top Ten Cynthia Rodriguez Excuses for Obscene Tank Top
Dumb seamstress left out words 'Osama bin Laden'

Jun 15, 2007
From the Editor's Desk: Next Week's Headlines
Here's our prescient editor's sneak peek at next week's breaking news: eTrueSports, always ahead of the curve.

  • Following Jerry Jones' comment that it was "absurd" to link football with chronic traumatic encephalopathy (C.T.E.) disease The Flat Earth Society has withdrawn an invitation to Cowboys owner to address their annual convention. "We can't afford to be embarrassed," said a Flat Earth spokesman.
  • Trump Razor Wire mogul's next venture sources tell eTrueSports. "If Donald's elected, best investment ever," says Trump insider.
  • Trump campaign pulls invite to Hall of Famer Goose Gossage to address Miami rally. "We can't afford to be embarrassed," says spokesman.
  • Paul O'Neill calls for hummus ban at Yankee Stadium. "Terrorists eat it," explained YES Network announcer and Trump supporter.
  • Citing opposition to re-branding state name, sources close to Trump say mogul abandons plan to buy Florida prior to Republican primary on Tuesday, March 15th.
  • Trump demands Knicks' rookie Porzingis produce birth certificate. "Kristaps? You call that an American name?"
  • "Who doesn't love the Indy 500?" said Donald Trump after being endorsed yesterday by NASCAR CEO Brian France.
  • Fast food chain Trumpy's Tacos files for bankruptcy. "Hispanics know nuthin about Mex food," says owner Donald Trump.
  • Heard any good rumors?
    Email the publisher!