eTrueSports Logo Tuesday, March 28th, 2017
Chris Simmons

Chris Simmons is an award-winning writer for TV animation and live-action, most recently developing a pilot for BET, GHOST OF MALCOLM X. He’s also a published non-fiction author and served as Script Analyst for Warner Bros. Pictures.  Oh, how perfectly safe and mainstream...

But eTrueSports gets the “unleashed” version of Chris Simmons as a feature columnist, covering sports as only One Black Man can, with an incisive, insider’s perspective (or so he tells himself!), honed by misplaced outrage and a totally unrealistic sense of journalistic entitlement. Simply put, he possesses the requisite requirements of columnists all around the country. “I even have a framed picture of T.J. Simers on my desk, so you know how I’m rolling with my s—t!”

Apr 8, 2008
The Chris Simmons "Inner-View": Jose Canseco
Clemens ain?t talking. Finally, Roger?s being smart. Luckily for me, though, Jose has never been and never will be confused for a Mensa member.

Mar 12, 2008
Chris Simmons' "Insida" Chat Wrap
eTrueSports ?insida? Chris Simmons periodically chats with the elite sports figures of our time and space. Baseball, the NBA, the No Fun League...even Tiger Woods blows up Chris? celly a time or two. And the true prince of sports reportage he is, Chris offers up a Chat Wrap for your ass!

Dec 7, 2007
DA WINLESS FISH: Parity, schmarity! News Flash, yo...the Dolphins suck. From where I sit, their 0-12 is waaaaaay worse than Tampa Bay?s 0-twentysomething (over two seasons) back in the day. Those Bucs, they got tore up by some truly beastly teams in the 70?s. These stinky Fish? The Jets spanked that ass.

  • Following Jerry Jones' comment that it was "absurd" to link football with chronic traumatic encephalopathy (C.T.E.) disease The Flat Earth Society has withdrawn an invitation to Cowboys owner to address their annual convention. "We can't afford to be embarrassed," said a Flat Earth spokesman.
  • Trump Razor Wire mogul's next venture sources tell eTrueSports. "If Donald's elected, best investment ever," says Trump insider.
  • Trump campaign pulls invite to Hall of Famer Goose Gossage to address Miami rally. "We can't afford to be embarrassed," says spokesman.
  • Paul O'Neill calls for hummus ban at Yankee Stadium. "Terrorists eat it," explained YES Network announcer and Trump supporter.
  • Citing opposition to re-branding state name, sources close to Trump say mogul abandons plan to buy Florida prior to Republican primary on Tuesday, March 15th.
  • Trump demands Knicks' rookie Porzingis produce birth certificate. "Kristaps? You call that an American name?"
  • "Who doesn't love the Indy 500?" said Donald Trump after being endorsed yesterday by NASCAR CEO Brian France.
  • Fast food chain Trumpy's Tacos files for bankruptcy. "Hispanics know nuthin about Mex food," says owner Donald Trump.
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