eTrueSports Logo Sunday, March 1st, 2015
 
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Dallas, TX (eTrueSports) - Buoyed by the success of NBC Sports' "Curling Night In America," Mark Cuban, owner of the NBA Dallas Mavericks, announced he has purchased the first franchise in the newly formed National Curling League (NCL). Read more...

Read this storyA-Rod's Apology Includes Dramatic Full Body Pinstripe Tat
New York – Alex Rodriguez is apparently serious about his apology to the New York Yankees. What else to conclude when less than 24 hours after his public mea culpa, A-Rod unveiled a dramatic full body pinstripe tattoo in a lightly-attended press conference at a tat parlor in the Bronx. Read more...

Read this storyA-Rod's New Nightmare: Cousin Yuri Writing Book
New York (eTrueSports) - Can it get worse? With news that his drug dealer Anthony Bosch was just sentenced to four years in jail Alex Rodriguez was hit with another blow today when it was revealed that Yuri Sucart, his controversial, drug-injecting cousin, is shopping "Shot of Candor: My Life with A-Rod" to major publishers. Read more...

Read this storyAfter Pebble Win, 'Breaded' Snedeker Added To Masters' Menu
Carmel, CA (eTrueSports) - "I'm not sure if I'm more honored to be playing in the Masters or to have Breaded Snedeker, my favorite dish in the world, added to the Champion's Dinner menu," said Brandt Snedeker after winning the Pebble Beach Pro-Am tournament on Sunday. Read more...

Read this storyDolan Blames H.S. English Teacher for Illiterate E-Mail
New York (eTrueSports) - Humiliated by a shockingly illiterate e-mail, beleaguered MSG Chairman James Dolan is threatening legal action against his Fairfield Prep English teacher, Dr. Dylan Healy. "Healy should have taught me how to write grammatically, not criticize me all the time," Dolan said. Read more...

Read this storyLance Armstrong Rushes To Brian Williams' Bedside
New York (eTrueSports) - After learning that beleaguered NBC news anchor Brian Williams is reportedly refusing to leave his bed, Lance Armstrong announced he was flying to New York to counsel "the bravest man in America." Read more...

Read this storyEasy-to-Follow Talking Points for Marshawn Lynch
"I think it's fair to say that everyone defines rudeness a bit differently." Read more...

Recent User Comments

Yo responds to:
Will Deflated Balls Sack 'Belicheat'?
Looks like he's got his ballsack in a wringer!

Edgar responds to:
Roger Goodell Supporter Located in Pocatello
Memo to Goodell:  inauthentic doesn't work.

Jelly responds to:
Roger Goodell Supporter Located in Pocatello

Charles Goodell, NFL Commissioner Roger's Republican Senator father, took a courageous political stance against the Vietnam War which cost him his political career. Charles would not be proud.


Edgar responds to:
Brawling For Dollars: UFC Signs Sarah Palin
That's funny. And gawd help us all, it's also plausible.

Jelly responds to:
Brawling For Dollars: UFC Signs Sarah Palin
From an observer of the Palin conflagration:  "When the host of the party asked Bristol to leave, she "planted her feet, stood straight up, brought her arm back and cold-cocked him right in the face."   Dana, you listening?
  • Breaking: According to sources Lance Armstrong is set to star in Fox's new summer sitcom, "A Return To Gullible Island," and will sing the show's theme song, "A Three Hour Tour de France."
  • After learning at least two NFL officials stole in-play game balls intended for charity, top PR crisis firm DBBO WideWorld has resigned the NFL account. "It's hopeless," said a DBBO spokesman.
  • Developing Story: Nation shocked that Ultimate Fighting is a drug-drenched brutal spectacle.
  • Ultimate Fighting in negotiations with PBS for children's show. "We think kids will love watching other kids kick one another in the face," said UFC president Dana White, "plus they'll learn about tattoos."
  • The American Delusional Narcissist Society is set to induct Alex Rodriguez and Donald Trump into its Hall of Fame, eTruesports has learned.
  • According to sources in Finland, Jameis Winston failed to qualify for the upcoming World Mobile Phone Throwing Championships in Savonlinna, FI.
  • Sarah Palin has called on the Westminster Kennel Club to ban Afghan Hounds from their 139th Annual Dog Show. "They're foreign," explained Palin.
  • During a bizarre Pebble Beach interview Clint Eastwood suggested NHL experiment with 'Death Penalty Box.'
  • In NASCAR news, the pre-eminent stock car racing organization announced commitment to carbon neutrality by century's end.
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