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Beckham To Buy Pacific Coast Highway
Paris and Los Angeles - Hours after announcing his retirement from soccer David Beckham announced he would relocate to LA and buy California's iconic Pacific Coast Highway. Read more...

Lindsey Vonn Named Optimist of the Year
New York - Barely three months into 2013, the American Society for Blind Hope today named ski racer Lindsey Vonn its Optimist of the Year. "She totally believes in Tiger," said a Blind Hope spokesman about Vonn's just announced romantic relationship with golfer Tiger Woods. Read more...

Lindsey Graham To Be Assault Rifle League's 1st Commish
Washington, D.C. - Sources close to Lindsey Graham (R/TBag- SC) say the senator is days away from accepting an offer to be the commissioner of the newly formed All-American Assault Rifle League. Read more...

eTS Vault: On The Road - NCAA Coverage, Vegas-style

Play Ball, Stop Motion

Trump To Fight Rousey For UFC Women's Crown
New York - Sources close to MMA contender Donald Trump say the mogul will fight Ronda Rousey, the UFC's first-ever woman champion, in a pay-for-view championship bout from Las Vegas on Easter night, March 31st. "We all put our Brazilian fighting bottoms on the same way." Read more...

A-Rod Denies PED Use, Announces Yard Sale
“If I can't play baseball there's nothing I'd rather be doing than selling branded A-Rod memorabilia in a comfortable garage setting,” explained Rodriguez. Read more...

Idaho Man Claims To Be Lance Armstrong Fan
Pocatello, Idaho – “I don’t have anything to apologize for,” said John L. Canard, 62, a Pocatello-based hedge fund manager and self-described life-long Lance Armstrong fan. “Lance Armstrong is a great and good man.” Read more...

Breaking News: New Elvis Video for The Masters

Did A Woman Play For The Senators?

Read All the News!

Recent User Comments

Beauregard responds to:
Manning Quits Broncos To Focus on Crappy Pizza
but god-awful pizza does buy one extra large cheesy mansion: http://tiny.cc/jn06nw

Jelly responds to:
OBAMA SHOCKS WORLD: Quits, Signs with Bulls
McConnell knows Washington and has the courage to call the resurgent U.S. Commies what they are: the greatest threat to liberty ever. And you mock him?

Dukie4ever responds to:
Petrino Pledges To Keep Moving Until Housing Crisis Eases
She may be a Razorback, but she's no pig....

Yo responds to:
Petrino Pledges To Keep Moving Until Housing Crisis Eases
I think New Orleans' search may be over......

Jelly responds to:
Masters Menu Will Not Be Prepared by Ginni Rometty
Perfect skewering! Hmmm, good.

Elvis's Masters' classic: "In The Bunker"

Michael Phelps for The Clean Bong Water Foundation

In what some are saying could be a poignant end to a once promising second career, eTrueSports has learned that the Alaska Ass Clowns of the fledgling American Caucasian Basketball League have ended negotiations with Sarah Palin to become the team's new mascot Barky. "Our focus group said she'd scare children," explained an Ass Clowns' spokesman.

Sources close to Kobe Bryant have told eTrueSports the athlete/comedian will star in a remake of the 1997 TV movie "Mother Knows Best." Ironically, negotations with his own mother to play herself "have not gone well."

Liberty University has added ESPN basketball analyst Chris Broussard as a commencement speaker, eTrueSports has learned. "The world needs more black bigots," said a spokesman for the evangelical Christian school of higher learning.

Los Angeles Lakers' center Dwight Howard has been rushed to Children's Hospital where he was diagnosed with Early-Onset Megalomania. "This is a real wake-up call," Howard told eTrueSports. "I need to concentrate 100% on myself to get better."

TMZ is reporting that the Grizzlies' Zach Randolph touched the rim at 3:42 of the 3rd quarter in Tuesday's 88-84 victory over the Thunder.

“Karma’s a bitch," said a spokesman for the American Buddhist Society commenting on Tiger Woods' DQ-less loss at The Masters.

The case against the crowd outside Pauley Pavilion who demanded the return of fired basketball coach Ben Howland has been dropped by the LAPD. "Both of them are good kids," spokesman told eTrueSports. "They just made a dumb mistake."

The National Transportation Safety Board investigation into ex-UCLA basketball coach Ben Howland's offense as source of drowsiness blamed for a rash of campus pedestrian collisions has been suspended. "The Westwood nightmare is over," said an NTSB spokesman.

After selling the naming rights to their football building - now Geo Group Stadium - to a private prison company, Florida Atlantic University denied the "The Perps" (formerly "The Owls") would compete in black and white striped uniforms. "That would be tacky," explained FAU President Mary Jane Saunders.

Heard any good rumors?
Email the publisher!

	Friday, May 24th, 2013
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Beckham To Buy Pacific Coast Highway Paris and Los Angeles - Hours after announcing his retirement from soccer David Beckham announced he would relocate to LA and buy California's iconic Pacific Coast Highway. Read more... Lindsey Vonn Named Optimist of the Year New York - Barely three months into 2013, the American Society for Blind Hope today named ski racer Lindsey Vonn its Optimist of the Year. "She totally believes in Tiger," said a Blind Hope spokesman about Vonn's just announced romantic relationship with golfer Tiger Woods. Read more... Lindsey Graham To Be Assault Rifle League's 1st Commish Washington, D.C. - Sources close to Lindsey Graham (R/TBag- SC) say the senator is days away from accepting an offer to be the commissioner of the newly formed All-American Assault Rifle League. Read more... eTS Vault: On The Road - NCAA Coverage, Vegas-style Play Ball, Stop Motion Trump To Fight Rousey For UFC Women's Crown New York - Sources close to MMA contender Donald Trump say the mogul will fight Ronda Rousey, the UFC's first-ever woman champion, in a pay-for-view championship bout from Las Vegas on Easter night, March 31st. "We all put our Brazilian fighting bottoms on the same way." Read more... A-Rod Denies PED Use, Announces Yard Sale “If I can't play baseball there's nothing I'd rather be doing than selling branded A-Rod memorabilia in a comfortable garage setting,” explained Rodriguez. Read more... Idaho Man Claims To Be Lance Armstrong Fan Pocatello, Idaho – “I don’t have anything to apologize for,” said John L. Canard, 62, a Pocatello-based hedge fund manager and self-described life-long Lance Armstrong fan. “Lance Armstrong is a great and good man.” Read more... Breaking News: New Elvis Video for The Masters Did A Woman Play For The Senators? Read All the News! Recent User Comments Beauregard responds to: Manning Quits Broncos To Focus on Crappy Pizza but god-awful pizza does buy one extra large cheesy mansion: http://tiny.cc/jn06nw Jelly responds to: OBAMA SHOCKS WORLD: Quits, Signs with Bulls McConnell knows Washington and has the courage to call the resurgent U.S. Commies what they are: the greatest threat to liberty ever. And you mock him? Dukie4ever responds to: Petrino Pledges To Keep Moving Until Housing Crisis Eases She may be a Razorback, but she's no pig.... Yo responds to: Petrino Pledges To Keep Moving Until Housing Crisis Eases I think New Orleans' search may be over...... Jelly responds to: Masters Menu Will Not Be Prepared by Ginni Rometty Perfect skewering! Hmmm, good. Elvis's Masters' classic: "In The Bunker" Michael Phelps for The Clean Bong Water Foundation In what some are saying could be a poignant end to a once promising second career, eTrueSports has learned that the Alaska Ass Clowns of the fledgling American Caucasian Basketball League have ended negotiations with Sarah Palin to become the team's new mascot Barky. "Our focus group said she'd scare children," explained an Ass Clowns' spokesman. Sources close to Kobe Bryant have told eTrueSports the athlete/comedian will star in a remake of the 1997 TV movie "Mother Knows Best." Ironically, negotations with his own mother to play herself "have not gone well." Liberty University has added ESPN basketball analyst Chris Broussard as a commencement speaker, eTrueSports has learned. "The world needs more black bigots," said a spokesman for the evangelical Christian school of higher learning. Los Angeles Lakers' center Dwight Howard has been rushed to Children's Hospital where he was diagnosed with Early-Onset Megalomania. "This is a real wake-up call," Howard told eTrueSports. "I need to concentrate 100% on myself to get better." TMZ is reporting that the Grizzlies' Zach Randolph touched the rim at 3:42 of the 3rd quarter in Tuesday's 88-84 victory over the Thunder. “Karma’s a bitch," said a spokesman for the American Buddhist Society commenting on Tiger Woods' DQ-less loss at The Masters. The case against the crowd outside Pauley Pavilion who demanded the return of fired basketball coach Ben Howland has been dropped by the LAPD. "Both of them are good kids," spokesman told eTrueSports. "They just made a dumb mistake." The National Transportation Safety Board investigation into ex-UCLA basketball coach Ben Howland's offense as source of drowsiness blamed for a rash of campus pedestrian collisions has been suspended. "The Westwood nightmare is over," said an NTSB spokesman. After selling the naming rights to their football building - now Geo Group Stadium - to a private prison company, Florida Atlantic University denied the "The Perps" (formerly "The Owls") would compete in black and white striped uniforms. "That would be tacky," explained FAU President Mary Jane Saunders. Heard any good rumors? Email the publisher! Most Popular Stories A-Rod Says "Sorry" With Full-Body, Pinstripe Tattoo Mets Owner to Marry - Knicks Owner! Travis Henry Rushes To Spitzer's Side Mariah Carey Turns Down Offer From Kansas City Royals Carmelo: Google's SportsApologies Widget Works Great! Read All the News!		Rare photo of golfer Bubba Watson thinking Drug scandal PR dream for A-Rod's new cereal FIFA logo could be controversial MLB's latest scandal: Pie? Cubs new logo a sure winner
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